“In an intimate relationship one of the first signs of an underlying disconnection between two people is a drop in the frequency and quality of their sexual connection. In the midst of COVID 19 many couples have unconsciously parked their sexual connection to deal with more fundamental needs. However, sex is a big part of what makes an intimate relationship intimate and in this piece, by Men’s List member, and psychosexual healer at End The Problem Jacqui Olliver, we reveal some of the most natural ways each person can bring more focus and intention to their sexual connection.”
Sex is the one thing that separates an intimate relationship from every other type of relationship. When one partner loses interest in sex it can affect the very fabric which holds your relationship together. Do you find yourself too tired, too busy, or too distracted for sex? Sex is an important component to both strengthen your emotional bond and enjoy a more loving and intimate connection, so here are seven of the best ways to help you boost your sex drive naturally:
1) Eat Chocolates to Boost Your Sex Drive – Raw Chocolate is Best
Chocolate has been a symbol of desire not just because of its delicious taste but its power to improve sex drive in both males and females. According to one study, eating chocolate promotes the release of serotonin and phenyl ethylamine in your body which can produce mood-enhancing effects.
Cocoa (the raw form of cocoa is called cacao) is one of the richest sources of available minerals, especially magnesium, which is required for over 300 processes in your body including muscle action – resulting in better sex. Aim for a natural chocolate made with cocoa butter and low sugar so you don’t upset your blood sugar levels. Stabilizing your blood sugar is essential for maintaining your overall health and ideal body shape as well as ensuring you have enough energy to complete a satisfying sexual act.
While wrong food choices can affect your overall desire for sex, changing the foods you eat is only one part of the puzzle to restore your libido and full sexual function. If you want to boost your sex drive naturally you need to work on your mental and emotional as well as physical connection.
2) Enhance Your Thoughts and Actions to Naturally Increase Your Desire for Sex
Negative feedback loops can result in sexual dysfunction such as weak erection, early ejaculation or having problems achieving orgasm. Self-limiting beliefs keep you feeling inadequate and contribute to your ongoing failure.
If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons that you’ve picked up along the way about how you look and feel about your body, or that you should feel guilty about sex, then it’s time to stop this in its tracks. Identify such thoughts when they appear and deal with the associated emotional triggers.
Emotions such as anxiety are simply a biological response to a real or imagined danger and the physical discomfort only lasts a few seconds if you don’t try to stop it. This will help you create desire for a healthy sex life as people with more open attitudes about sex are better able to explore their sexuality without guilt.
It’s important to deal with the problems which are contributing to your lack of desire for sex. Is there something off-putting about your partner’s technique? Are weak erection or early ejaculation a problem? Are you able to easily reach an orgasm? Do you not like the way he or she kisses you? Does he or she have bad breath? Does her vagina smell funny? Is there something else bothering you?
All of these things can be common libido killers in either or both partners so make sure you communicate what you want and work together to resolve any problems. If you don’t have the answer to end your problem, seek expert advice. The most important thing for you to do is take action to resolve the problems so you can restore desire and harmony in your relationship.
Remember that both partners are responsible for bringing their own “A” game to the relationship. This includes maintaining your own health and fitness and cleaning up after yourself.
Aim to be the best version of you and you will automatically attract more qualities to appreciate in your partner. Feeling appreciative of your partner will naturally increase your sex drive as well as your overall connection. On the flip side, feeling appreciated by your partner will also naturally boost your sex drive!
3) Make Getting in the Mood for Sex a Priority
Life is busy and there is always something (or someone) demanding your time and energy. Sex also requires a great deal of energy so it’s important to prioritize yourself to ensure you have enough time and energy for sex. Making time for everyone but your partner will leave them feeling like they’re inconsequential and in a relationship by themselves.
Having a constantly busy schedule increases stress hormones which can lead to heart disease, diabetes, other serious health issues as well as erectile dysfunction. Being stressed makes you less fun to be with. Sex releases oxytocin and other feel-good hormones which can help you feel more relaxed. Your partner wants you to be healthy and happy, so it’s important to clear your schedule and make time to enjoy sex.
If you need to be more disciplined with your time, schedule an hour for sex into your calendar to reduce the pressure! The worst thing you can do is rush sex to try and fit it in. This can lead to weak erection or ejaculation problems for him and unfulfilling sexual time for her. Unfulfilling sex naturally leads to a decreased libido in either or both partners.
It can be challenging to get in the mood when you have several things on your to-do list and your mind is distracted. Ensure you are allowing time for your partner’s libido to kick in before you expect things to heat up sexually.
It’s just as important to prepare for sex outside of the bedroom and this includes your attitude toward your partner and how you treat her or him. Scheduling an hour gives you plenty of time to relax beforehand, unwind and simply enjoy being together. It also ensures your bodies have enough time to get turned on and become responsive to gradual emotional and sexual stimulation.
Remember to praise and uplift your partner instead of being critical or blaming. Helping your partner feel valued and appreciated is essential for you to both get what you want and enjoy a long-lasting relationship.
4) Exercise to Improve Your Sex Life
Exercise promotes the release of endorphins as well as strengthening, toning, and making you feel good about your body. Confidence is an attractive asset for yourself as well as your partner. Pelvic floor exercises tone and tighten the muscles which support the penis and vagina and improve health to these areas as well as enhancing sexual function. Specific exercises will increase penis size as well as strength.
Exercises need to be relevant to sex to boost your sex drive and kick-start your libido. Other exercises such as push-ups, cycling, rebounding and squats can also improve your overall sexual stamina. You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for better sex drive but remember that your blood needs to flow to your genitals as much as it does to your heart.
5) Get plenty of Sleep
Those of you living a hectic lifestyle don’t always have time to get the right amount of sleep. Also, being busy makes it difficult to make time for sex at the end of a long day. Those who balance work with caring for young children and/or ageing parents are also left exhausted, thus, leading to a reduced sex drive.
It is important to get plenty of sleep (aim for 8 hours if possible) and eat a healthy diet which is high in organic vegetables and protein and low in carbohydrates to naturally boost your libido.
6) Masturbate or Self-stimulate for Better Sex
Many sex therapists recommend masturbation or self-stimulation as one of the best tips for a better sex life. By self-stimulating and experimenting on yourself, you can come to better know what satisfies you sexually and then you can convey this information to your partner. Masturbation can have other benefits for women such as reduced pain and vaginal dryness. You can also use sexual enhancers such as vibration, lubrication, etc. for an enhanced stimulation.
However, I don’t recommend excessive self-stimulation (more than once a day) as it can affect your desire and ability to complete the sexual act with a partner.
With the correct sexual knowledge and procedures in place which I can teach you, you can easily be in charge of your body so things like inner vaginal dryness, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and the inability to achieve orgasm are no longer an issue for you.
7) Eat Herbs Which Boost Your Libido
Add a little garlic or basil to your dish the next time you decide to sit down for a romantic dinner. The smell of the basil stimulates the senses and improves your sex drive naturally. Garlic contains high levels of allicin which increase blood flow which can help men with erectile dysfunction challenges. Ginkgo biloba is another herb that treats antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction.
Some herbs are used by cultures around the world as aphrodisiacs while some are believed to stimulate the nerves in your genitals, increase the levels of nitric oxide that increases the blood flow to the genitals and the feel-good chemicals in your brain. Women consuming herbs daily have reported an increase in sexual drive and overall sexual satisfaction.
Important note: After eating strong herbs such as garlic, I recommend cleaning your teeth or having some breath freshener on hand to counteract strong smelling breath. A few drops of peppermint essential oil with water in a small sprayer bottle does the job perfectly.
Regardless of what foods you are eating and how much exercise you partake in, it’s important to note that wrong sexual focus will cause ongoing sex problems. However, knowing how to correctly align your thoughts and actions during sex, will naturally boost your sex drive as well as your sexual stamina.
In most cases, male and female sexual function issues can be easily resolved with the correct knowledge and techniques which are explained in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women.
Originally posted by Jacqui Olliver on her website:
Psychosexual Relationship Specialist at End the Problem, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their relationships to create a happier life. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session for real answers to solve the real problems.